Yesterday was my birthday and a time for a little reflection. Do you remember how as children, we were often asked the question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'
Note: what do you want to be, as if your chosen career will somehow define the very essence of you. Would any parent, teacher, career advisor, accept the simple answer 'Fulfilled'? Surely that's all any of us want to be - the fulfilled, complete version of ME. Alas, no, the acceptable answer can only be - doctor, lawyer, brain surgeon etc., for you would surely be viewed as a failure before you ever set out on your chosen career path, were you to be aware from the get go, that in reality, you were going to end up spending 8 mind and ass numbing hours per day typing...filing...dealing with people's petty problems...or chewing gum laconically while waiting to serve someone in a store selling the most tedious of items.
I knew what I wanted to be...oh yes! The problem was, I couldn't own up to it. I would be mocked, jeered! Important people in my life would be aghast! Without a doubt it would be viewed as a shameful waste of my extremely expensive, private, convent school education. The nuns themselves would have had to expend their energy, time and knee-skin on extra prayers, novenas etc in an attempt to persuade God to show this wayward child the error of her ways
For you see, I wanted to be a bingo caller. A proper British bingo caller ( North American readers possibly don't quite understand). I wanted to stand up there, proudly, on the stage, in the spotlight, with microphone in hand, with all eyes on me, while 200 people collectively held their breath ...just waiting for me to say...
Me and you, number 2
Cup of tea, number 3
Doctors orders, number 9 (Why? Because number 9 was a laxative pill given out by British doctors during World War II)
Sweet 16 (To which the players all shout: 'and never been kissed!')
Two little ducks, 22 (players shout: 'quack, quack quack')
Clickety-click, 66
Was she worth it? 76 (Why? The pre-decimal price of a British marriage licence was 7/6d - 7 shillings and 6 pence)Players shout: 'Every penny!'
Two fat ladies, 88
....and other such timeless, eloquent gems.
I feel sure I would have been an amazing bingo caller, one of the all-time greats in fact, but, alas, my dreams fell into dust as life set my feet firmly on other paths - actually a lot of other paths. I have had many different jobs - some great, some not so great, some challenging and some of the previously mentioned mind and ass numbing variety.
How do we find fulfillment? How do we measure it? For some it will be by the accumulation of an enviably large bank balance. For others, it will be how famous, how well-known and instantly recognizable they are. But what about that unmistakably feeling that, yes...they have found their own route through life. The one that is right for them. Not necessarily something noble, world-changing or that would make a single person gasp and say 'Wow', but that path that from the first tentative step, makes their heart beat a little faster and fills them with passion, zest and excitement.
I am fortunate that after so many false starts, I have finally found that path. It is called Peanut Pet Shelter and it fills me with an excitement and drive I have never experienced before.
You too will know when you have found your right route through life. If you haven't yet found it, please don't give up. Hope is what keeps us alive.
It's taken me a long, long, time to find the answer to that question: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' It finally makes sense because it's not just do-ing, it's be-ing.
Having reached this great age (that's great as in big numbers!) I can now with surety say , I am where I want to be, doing what I want to do, doing what's right for me to do and being what I want to be. This then leaves me with just one more thought:
Does this mean I've finally grown up?
